America today isn’t the exuberant teenager — flashy, indulgent and consumerist. Financial turmoil and protests are making people seek solace in the simple life

As turmoil stalks America’s financial markets and protests fill its streets, Americans’ lifestyle choices are evolving in a telling way: once seen by the rest of the world as an exuberant teenager – the globe’s extrovert, exporter of rock ‘n’ roll and flashy Hollywood movies — Americans are now becoming decidedly withdrawn, or at least inward-looking. Trends in leisure activities reflect that change: frugality and making do are in; gaudy consumerism is out. This change is due to the fragile economy, of course, but I believe that it is also psychological. After two wars and a half-dozen undeclared conflicts in the past decade, America has entered a period of unprecedented cultural hibernation. Gardening, scrapbooking, knitting, and cooking have all become newly, shabbily chic. In the urban neighbourhoods to which the young and hip are moving, city garden plots and heirloom tomatoes grown in window boxes have replaced Lexuses and Priuses. Other young hipsters have moved farther out into the country in search of an idyllic new narrative fantasy. The young couple — he with a beard and she in a sundress and rubber boots — are homesteading in the Hudson River Valley with a flock of chickens, or in New Mexico in an ecofriendly straw-bale house. They have replaced the young couple of five years ago — he with the hedge fund, she with interior decorators — in a McMansion in Westchester County. The food sections of urban newspapers that, five years ago, would have covered the latest fusion cuisine, now run dreamy profiles of the guy with the Ivy League degree who has stepped off the grid, and done fine for himself by starting a line of homemade pickles. Farmers’ markets, wood stoves, solar panels, and Agway farm-supply stores are the new focus of aspirational dreams for people who not long ago were high on boundless credit, consuming luxury brands scaled down for the middle class, and fantasising about the kind of life on display in glossy magazines. Even Hollywood story lines now echo this desire to escape to a “simpler life,” with its aversion to excessive wealth and indulgence. In the soon-to-be-released We Bought a Zoo, a single father heals his family by moving to the country and homesteading with a menagerie of wild animals — shabby house and spectacular natural vistas guaranteeing a redemptive setting for domestic life. Other films cast excess as nauseating. The blockbuster The Hangover Part II depicts three young male friends engaged in a night of carousing in Thailand, in which they are free to satisfy every appetite — from transsexual sex workers to drugs and chaos of all kinds. At the end, however, the lead character indulges his longing for marriage, family, and the quiet life of a dentist. In a parallel plot aimed at women, the movie Bridesmaids features a bride-to-be who is about to get “everything” — in the guise of a dull but extremely affluent groom — but flees the excess around her and escapes to her humble apartment. After bank bailouts, Bernard Madoff-type financial scandals, and a housing bubble that left Americans high and dry, it is as if the collective unconscious is recasting life on yachts and perfectly manicured golf courses as distasteful, and thrifty, often rural simplicity as a virtuously cleansing relief. Not surprisingly, the last time American culture had such a reversal of iconography was during the Great Depression, when films like The Grapes of Wrath cast down-to-earth simplicity — versus the corruption of wealthy elites — as a shining virtue. (“Whenever there’s a cop beating up a guy, I’ll be there….wherever people are eatin’ the stuff they raise and livin’ in the houses they build, I’ll be there, too,” as Tom Joad said). Ronald Reagan asserted in 1980 that it was “morning in America,” but in America now, it is the morning after. This drive toward an off-the-grid, eat-what-you-raise, bike-there-on-your-own, solar-powered collective fantasy is inevitable: Americans were pumped full of hope that more consumption would make them happier, and instead were left with a pile of debt. They were asked to admire the top of the income pyramid, only to find that they were looking at a pyramid scheme. It is no wonder therefore, that a kind of survivalist chic has become the updated version of the radical, communal chic of the 1960′s. Americans have lost their faith in those who, in the boom times, purred, “Trust us.” The new American dream — a flock of chickens and a jar of pickles — represents the insight that the only people whom Americans can trust in a crisis are themselves.

The Silly Me Syndrome (SMS) is not a new affliction. Most women, at some point in life, have fallen prey to it. Rachel Fernandes tells you more. Picture this scene: You walk up to that dream dude, introduce yourself and you two hit it off really well. You think, ‘Wow! am I lucky or what?’. Smooth sailing till now. Then bam, right out of the blue he makes a factually incorrect statement or pronounces a simple word wrong or looks at you absolutely baffled when you mention a well-known classic that happens to be your favourite book or movie. But instead of correcting him, you play dumb and pretend it never happened.

And before you relegate this incident as a piece of fiction ladies, stop and think. At some point or the other, you, too, will have experienced a similar incident and reacted in the very same manner. Yes, SMS or Silly Me Syndrome, is a common female affliction, Unfortunately, it could be quite damaging to one’s well being and mental health. So when exactly does SMS affect women? Put simply, it happens when a woman chooses to play dumb just so that she doesn’t offend the man she is out with or the man in her life – boyfriend or husband. Interestingly, there is no start age for this syndrome because women learn to adjust to the intellectual gap from an early age. However, once in a relationship or when they are ready to get into one, the desire to get one from the opposite sex to like them becomes a growing distraction.

“There is a dearth of quality men around and these women know that if they play smart, they will not have as many men as they would like. Hence, they are willing to compromise,” explains Varkha Chulani, clinical psychologist and counsellor. According to her, this symptom is not restricted to just dating, one also finds women cutting themselves short in the corporate world. “They’ll compromise and allow the man to have an upper hand so as to not lose him, especially if she realises that he has a fragile ego. This is mainly a relationship-saving tactic,” Varkha says. According to clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Seema Hingorrany, it’s mainly insecure women who fall prey to this syndrome. “Though these women know they are intelligent, they are aware of the fact that they are lonely. Also, in an earlier experience, the woman would probably have been told that the man is intimidated by her knowledge, position, behaviour, etc. Hence, even though they find it difficult to play dumb, they do it. They refrain from discussing the kind of books they read or the movies they watch or some serious topic that they know the guy won’t be able to comment on. Many a times, family members pressurise women into not showing their smart side just to impress a potential ‘good catch’,” she says.

Many women have a pre-conceived notion of what qualities their life partner should possess. And often, if the man does not fit the bill, he’s out of reckoning. However, experts warn that while average intelligence is a must, one should not set very high benchmarks and expect the other person to be a replica of themselves. As for the effects of this behaviour, Varkha says that if a woman is doing it to save a relationship, it will not affect her. “However, if she feels compelled to do it way too often, she will eventually begin feeling bitter and resentful,” she adds.

Seema adds that women who are constantly forced to downplay their smartness and intelligence are always stressed out and in a high anxiety mode as they are fully aware that they cannot be their actual selves. “That apart, in the search for intellectual stimulation and satisfaction, they may end up cheating,” she adds.