Shyness is uncomfortable and if you find yourself tongue-tied in social occasions, it could take a toll on your overall self-esteem. But there’s no need to lose all hope. It’s perfectly natural to be nervous when meeting a good looking man or woman. Since first impressions matter, if you keep away from the person completely out of shyness it may be misinterpreted as arrogance or plain bad manners.
Learning to overcome shyness isn’t difficult. Just be natural and stay away from cheesy one-liners. The rest will be easy.
Comprehending body language
Reading body language may often seem like voodoo, but it is anything but difficult. What you should know is that your mind interprets body language sub-consciously and uses it to form impressions about anyone. Once you start paying attention to this, the signals are easy to read. It’s a language that we speak everyday and it is extremely intuitive. You just need to become consciously receptive to it.
Understanding your shyness
You need to understand your brand of shyness and how it manifests your life. Try to comprehend what situation triggers this feeling and what it is that immediately puts you back in your shell.
Find your strengths
To prevent this from happening, you need to look for your strengths. We all have unique qualities and various ways to expressing ourselves. Focus on something you are good at. Though this might be a short term fix, it will give you immense confidence and help you break your self-imposed barrier of fear.
What not to do
> Be careful not to go overboard with your chatter; watch what you say.
> Do not indulge in personal conversations when meeting someone for the first time.
> Don’t be aggressive, rude.
> Refrain from using abusive language.
> Try to respect the other person’s opinions even if you do not agree with it.
> If somebody is avoiding you, do not pile on.
> Relationship expert Dr Seema Hingorrany says, “Never choose a seat which is isolated. Ask the host to introduce you to people and start with neutral topics of conversation.
If a guy comes up to you…
When you are approached by a suave guy at a party, more often than not, you don’t know how to start a conversation. All that you are left with is fumbles. Be confident and don’t walk away. Do not ramble something that you have no knowledge about.
You don’t have to be a chatterbox to attract people. With just a slight smile or a nod, you can get people talking to you at the party. Be nice and friendly to others and do not give curt responses. Do nice things for people, for example, accompany someone for a drink. Do not be extreme and go the extra mile but surely take an extra step.
Wear something you love
Be confident in the way you look. Spend some time choosing your outfit and make sure you are wearing something comfortable. The idea of being shy-free is to be comfy rather than trendy. When you look good, you feel good about yourself and this helps overcome the shyness.
Find your kitty circle
Women love to bond over topics like men, shopping, children etc. Find your group. The best way to spend the evening is chatting about things you love to do.
Practice small talk
This may sound really dorky, but practising some small talk will help you stand face-to-face with someone you haven’t met before. If someone is smiling at you, return the favour. Do not turn your face and walk off. When you are approached by someone, start with basic things like — how are you, where do you work etc.
If you are approached by a woman…
If a woman comes up and talks to you, do not answer in a single sentence. This might put her off and she may label you as an arrogant person. Start with a small conversation and get to know her better.
Interact over business matters
If you find people who are from the same work field, discussing business can help build your friend circle and also get you business contacts.
Join like-minded people
Look for people who share the same interests as you. Ask the host to get you introduced to a couple of friends and connect over a glass of beer or whiskey.
Start with a joke
If a decent joke pops into your head, just come out and say it. If someone laughs, that’s the perfect conversation starter. It is also a great dialogue opener with attractive women.
Bond over a common sport
Use sports to bond with others, especially those you play or watch regularly. Invite them over the weekend to the golf championship at the local club.