What does ‘watching oneself’ mean?
When i say watch yourself, then i’m talking not about your body, your senses, your thoughts, your emotions, nor about your imaginations but i’m talking about that being, which is layer after layer hidden within.
So, body is the most external layer, then the senses, the mind, conscious, subconscious, unconscious – behind that is the intellect, and then you. When i say watch yourself, i’m asking you to peel all these layers and move within. For this you need deeper understanding and wisdom and viveka, gyana – wisdom and knowledge.
What is willpower?
See, for now you do not have any willpower and whatever will you have, is part of the mind, which is already weak. Whatever decision you make, you are unable to fructify your desired goal. At the moment, when you say ‘we’, then this ‘we’ is inclusive of your mind, intellect and consciousness and as such if your mind is not being well trained and if you do not have a higher intellect then it is pretty clear that you will not have higher power to make decisions and to follow them.
So how to strengthen willpower?
Understanding and wisdom. Wisdom makes you strong, it makes you clear and with wisdom, the choices you make, you will stick with those. See, your ego is pretty big and whenever this ego makes a decision, it sticks with that and if you do not have the right wisdom and intellect, then you will not have the right kind of ego with you. If you do not have the ‘shuddha ahankara’, the pure ego, then you cannot have the ‘shuddha sankalpa’ and then no good things happen in your life. You are unable to go beyond the mind because you are struggling through the mind, to transcend the mind, that wouldn’t happen. It is just like, if someone holds his shoelaces, and still wants to stand straight, how would you do that? Either you let go of your shoelaces, or you let go of your desire to stand straight. You can’t do two things together. Similarly, the mind which is struggling to transcend the mind, how will it transcend the mind?
But how? It’s not easy to still the mind.
Yes, mind is the biggest enemy but it can also be your best friend. The Master guides you how to train your mind so that it becomes your friend. Ignorance, there are dark shadows; child gets scared of all these dark shadows and begins to think that there are ghosts in the room. But the mother brings the light and the ghosts disappear. Child doesn’t have to struggle; with light, all ghosts go away. Similarly, the Guru works like a mother, brings the light of knowledge that helps you overcome ghosts of lust, greed, prejudice and hatred. With light of knowledge we get a clear insight, and we come to know how this mind is to be used and then you become your own master. Right now, mind is the master, not you! You are just a slave of the mind – mind says get angry, you are angry; mind says be lustful, you fall in lust; mind says go and be in the rat race, and you are part of the rat race.